Adoption Think Tank

A Sunday Morning Like Most Sunday Mornings

2010-09-26T06:07:00.001-07:00

at least so far. Things have been pretty uneventful here this weekend. I'm till pushing to get my stuff done for my next trip, but the kids have been pretty mellow. I had to consequence Sadie yesterday and afterwards was very impressed with her maturity in accepting her consequences without arguing or begging. I made sure to tell her so. What could have been an unpleasant conversation with Salinda was received well too, so we are making some progress.

We had water in our basement.... which caused a bit of a stir, but it's been cleaned up. Laundry is done for the trip -- just emptied the suitcase into the washer, then dryer, then folded it and put it right back in.

Now it's time for me to wake everyone up. Church, then Sunday School, then Church, then lunch out....

Busy morning ahead.....

A Question for Parents

2010-08-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

I have an adopted daughter who will be 12 soon. She is taller than me and out weighs me at this point. She can be very aggressive and this morning when I would do what she asked me to do for her, she shoved me and left the house, later to return and hide. My question is, what type of discipline would you use to deter aggressive behavior. Her bio father is a violent man, bio sibs tend to be aggressive, one is my son, 2 other we have contact with but she never lived with. I left this situation with a, your grounded until I am calm enough to make a decision on your discipline, so any suggestions. This is not the first time she has slapped me but I have recently had some health issues and I con not let her continue to be aggressive, I have younger children in the home and will not have one of my children set the example that it is OK to hit Mom.

A Question for Large Families

2008-10-27T12:01:00.001-07:00

We would like to hear more stories of large families and how big their houses are and where and how they put all the kids in bedrooms. We currently have adopted 5 (1 is out of the house now) the other 4 are ages 4-13 (only have 1 girl) we’re in a 3 bedroom house & basement if ever gets finished we’d have 2 more, but our 13 girl stays down there already (she wants to). We would love to adopt more children but think we’re running out of space (1 of our boys who is 12 is separated in his own room, because of possible sexually abused by birth parent/family). We think of selling to find bigger but these days won’t get what we owe for our house, so can’t do that. We live on 10 acres but also can’t afford to add on (I stay home with the little ones). So just would like to hear stories about how everyone else fits the children in. Also 3 out of the 5 for sure have “Fetal alcohol syndrome” possible our daughter does too but more mild then the boys. The youngest was a Meth child and so far is just hyper.

Question from a Parent about Transition Times

2007-11-28T13:08:00.000-08:00

My question is about transition. Here they like to drag it out upwards of 6 months (at least for school age kids). What is a good transition time for kids? Does it depend on age?

Question for Professionals from a Parent

2007-11-15T07:27:00.000-08:00

We arew parents of a 2 year 4 month old girl and have been her parents since day 2. She had drugs in her system at birth. The questions we have for you are:

She hit's us, our dog and other children. Except in a day care which she goes to once a week and she has friends there. Later on we have started her in a parent/toddler class once a week and she has been hiiting the children two or three times, and this week twice in a day. She does not know the children or parents in the parent-toddler class, as well as she does in the days care. The teacher in the daycare is much ore interactive and nurturing than in the parent-toddler class.

The problem has existed for quite awhile, at least since last summer. In the past we would grab her arms and scold her. More recently, we have timed her out, but nothing seems to work. Maybe she is trying to be friendly and doesn't knwo how. Her teacher in her parent-toddler class wants to send her home now, after one hit, to which I objected. I would like to move her but want to give the teacher a chance to work something out--I feel that she doesn't want to work with our child, or is it school policy that she send her home? I talked to the vice pricipal and she said she was surprised that this teacher wanted to send Savannah h ome when she was such a proponent of positive discipline.

Do you have any suggestions?

Savannah is quite verbal.

The other question involves my saying to my child that her behavior is "bad" and I may have said that she was bad when I was scolding her. I regret this because now she says mommy/daddy is bad, the dog is bad, and when asked if she is bad she says yes (although I don't really think she knows what bad is, she has picked up on my inflection and stern demeanor). What can I do now? We have been telling her that she is a good girl at every oopportunity we have.

Steven

Question from A Parent

2007-07-08T17:51:00.001-07:00

Hi
I have 2 adopted children - a daughter of 3.5 years and a son of 2.2 years. Both were adopted at birth and we have openly spoken about adoption since they were born.
I would like to write up their adoption story and share it with friends and families once it has been told to my children. I was just wondering if anyone has done this and has some good ideas to share about how to do it and what to say at this stage in their lives since they are obviously still quite young.
I look forward to hearing from you.
regards
Lorienne

Children Needing Residential Care

2007-03-21T10:06:00.001-07:00

Many adoptive families are now reporting horror stories of having to have a "Child in Need of Protection or Services" petition filed in order for their adopted son or daughter with multiple issues to receive residential care.

Are there other ways less incriminating ways that families can access funding for residential treatment when it is not safe for their adopted child to live at home?

Question from Another Parent

2007-02-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

We have 5 daughters we have adopted through foster care and taken
guardianship of another. We are no strangers to the ups and downs and
have (mostly) come to terms with the difficulties. What we just can't
seem to get right is helping our children transition to adulthood.

Our oldest daughter who we got at age 14 and adopted at 18 is married
and doing quite well in another state. A few months after graduating
high school she was skipping her college classes, skipping work and
really not doing much of anything. We gave her some options and set
some guidelines which she completely ignored, no fight, no discussion,
just ignored. We told her she could not stay in our home unless she
was willing to work, go to school, or both. Without a word she moved
out with her boyfriend. After that it was a series of moves until she
found her husband. He is actually a great guy, and we are so grateful,
but he takes total care of her. I wouldn't call our relationship
strained, but it is distant. She seems to surround herself with people
who require little of her and that is not us. Although I'm sure she
feels like we've pulled away, we feel like we've always been here, but
that she just doesn't always need us the way we are. Even phone
conversations are difficult. She is quiet until we get her talking
about what she wants to talk about. She rarely even remembers things
we tell her about the rest of the family. I don't want to give you the
impression that she's mean. She's actually very sweet and all things
considering is living quite a productive life.

We had guardianship of another daughter. She left shortly after high
school graduation in a huff (we're still not sure why). She joined the
army, came home for a strange, unannounced Christmas visit, went AWOL
and we didn't hear from her until we were contacted by a mental
institution a couple of years later. She had had a breakdown and was
not the same girl we knew.

Now our 20 year old daughter is a junior at a university 3 hours away.
She's actually doing really well, but has moved 5 times, still doesn't
have a group of really good friends and seems to sabotage relationships
with boys. Now, we're finding each visit home to be less and less
enjoyable. There's a tension that's hard to explain and very very very
subtle manipulations. She's always loved to be the victim but now
she's a master at this. When there are problems, there is no
discussion, she just shuts down. She leaves mad, we're mad and things
are uncomfortable until I reach out and then we can never address the
problems or we'll just start the process over again. There will come a
time, on her terms where she will address the issues. She has all the
right and seemingly sincere conclusions and answers but seems
completely unable to really work those answers in real life.

Now, my husband and I know that we are far from innocent in all of
this. We are demanding, protective and involved. I'm sure many times
our children feel that nothing is good enough. We are also on constant
alert trying to protect ourselves from manipulation and that's probably
a tough wall for our kids to break through sometimes.

So we're looking for resources to help ease the problems adulthood
brings. We have this feeling that we raise our children only to lose
them. If this is part of their learning curve and their journey, we
can handle that. What I find difficult is that we could very well be a
big part of the reason they cut and run.

Thanks for your time!

Christie

Question from a Parent

2007-02-15T06:44:00.001-08:00

My daughter who is now 4 came to live with me when she was 3 weeks old as my foster daughter. Our adoption finalized when she was 2 1/2.

Her biological mom is bi-polar and schizophrenic - she has also abused alcohol and drugs.

she was hospitalized the last 8 months of her pregnancy. So during the first month it is possible she took drugs and drank.

My daughter's biological father has cognitive delays and might be schizophrenic as well - he also abuses alcohol.

I know that schizophrenia has not been proven to be hereditary - yet I know she has about a 50% chance of getting it in her late teens early twenties.

My daughter has been healthy and on target for everything - she's pretty smart and learns quickly.

She has always had a temper and will give you the complete evil eye. When you are talking to her she can completely tune you out and do what she wants anyway.

She would sleep with a bear - since she was little - she finally at one point became attached to it and would freak if she didn't have it to go to sleep - finally I completely took the bear away and would let her sleep with an animal but not the consistent same one in hopes to break the habit - which it did - it helped and a few months down the road I gave her bear back.

for quite awhile she had to have the same bedtime routine in the same order or life was not okay - so then I started changing that up.

I wanted her to have consistency yes - but I didn't want her to become obsessive about things and not be able to deal with change.

As she has gotten older some of the habits she has surpassed - often with forced help...... but some she has over come - only to change to another habit - that I later recognize.

She has always liked "little tiny things or toys" like very small stuffed animals or plastic toys. Ahh yes for awhile she had to go to sleep every night with a dime in her hand. Finally after being woke up in the middle of the night to blood curdling screams a few times - to which I would panic and run in there - only to find that she had dropped her dime and couldn't find it. Then I broke that habit and wouldn't let her sleep with dimes any more.

So back to the tiny things - we have had this problem off and on - where she will put tiny things in her pocket or she has to carry them in her hand. She will not set them down when she is pick up other toys to clean up - in fear that someone might put it away or pick it up ( I think). The other problem we have had off and on (and now it is on again - which is why I am writing) is that she will put other peoples little things in her pockets and "steal" them. She will do it with my things - with her brother's things - she has done it at my friends house with her friend's toys.

I found out this morning she did it again. I have explained to her that is stealing. When she does not ask if she can borrow something it is stealing - she knows this - well she at least knows she should not be doing it. She sneaks things intentionally - once in awhile she will sneak food as well. But she is diffidently a very sneaky child. She might even sneak out of bed and lay on the floor in the hall (in the past this was an issue). When I tell her to leave her toys at home - not to bring them - she might sneak them with her anyway. I have now told her that I cannot trust her so for now she may not put things in her pockets and I will have to check her pockets every time we leave home - school or a friends house (which will be hard for me to get in the habit) and I shouldn't have to do this to my 4 year old - but it is a consistent on going problem and I don’t want it to become a bigger issue down the road. I want to break this habit now.

So my bigger question yet - in your opinion - do you think this stuff is normal childhood issues, or do you think this is a possible pre-determining factor to mental health issues - or possibly affects of drugs or alcohol that first month of pregnancy - or some kind of attachment issue (which she is deff attached to our family and friends and that doesn't seem to be an issue - maybe over attachment to things might be an issue). Should I get her into counseling or am I over-reacting?

Any input you could give would be greatly appreciated

Splitting Sibilngs When One Needs Residential Care

2007-02-05T07:36:00.000-08:00

A question from an adoption supervisor:

What is your thought regarding finding an adoptive home for a sibling group if one or two of the siblings are in RTC? Do you think we should just separate and go on, wait for the kids to get out of RTC, or ask a family to adopt the "sure thing" kids [the ones who are ready for adoption] and consider the "unknown" [the ones who aren't ready for adoption now and may or may not ever be] kids?

Should Children be Reunited with Birth Parents Three Years after Termination

2007-02-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

Please check out Senate Bill #5452 and, if you wish, one response to the bill.

What would be the ramifications of such a bill on the children waiting to be adopted and those who are attempting to recruit families for them?

Adopting from China and Health Risks

2007-02-01T05:27:00.000-08:00

"My wife and I are considering adopting a girl from China. The main concern we have, which is probably not uncommon, is the health of the child. We are not so much concerned with things that can be controlled or cured with care and time (eg. scabies, parasites…etc). Our main concern is the handful of infectious diseases such as HIV, and Hepatitis B/C.

It appears as though HIV is quite rare in adoptive children from China. Hep C also appears to be somewhat rare. Hep B is obviously more prevalent, but there are vaccinations for that, so that is less of a concern. Given that though, we have not been able to find any statistics or studies any newer than one done in the year 2000 discussing the commonplace of these diseases among adoptive children. With news on the spreading of HIV in China, it would be nice to see some more recent statistics.

Are you aware of any more recent studies on the health of adopted children from China?"

The Levels of Care Conundrum

2007-01-30T05:22:00.000-08:00

Read through the post Levels of Care: An Unsolvable Conundrum and help provide insight to a way that this issue can be addressed so that children are not penalized, representation of children is more accurate, and recruitment is not as difficult.

Question from a Parent to Parents and Professionals

2007-01-16T11:06:00.000-08:00

my adopted daughter was my foster child for many years. she seemed "normal" in her early years but has developed into a real handful as a teen. diagnosed bipolar, ODD, ADHD and suffers from obesity R/O bipolar. I am even today collecting information on the bipolar disorder. I am seeking a support group that can assist me in giving her the best care and future available while keeping my sanity.

The ICPC Process

2007-01-10T04:58:00.000-08:00

In what ways can the ICPC process be improved? Share any good or bad experiences if you wish.

Future for Children with FASD

2007-01-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

What happens to children with FASD when they become adults? If they are unable to learn from consequences and apply knowledge to future behaviour, how will they function in society? What can be done to help them?

Agency Data

2007-01-04T05:05:00.000-08:00

Should data from agencies (number of families homestudied, number of placements, number of finalizations, etc.) be collected annually on a state level and made available to all prospective adoptive families to assist them in selecting an adoption agency?

Why or why not?

Michael Yates joins the Think Tank

2007-01-03T12:37:00.000-08:00

Michael Yates, M.Div., is the Project Manager of Tennessee Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP), a post adoption program designed to support adoptive families struggling with the unique needs of their children (www.tnasap.org). Michael has many years of experience in child welfare including two years of residential services at Vanderbilt Child and Adolescent Hospital, 12 years of therapeutic foster care and adoption, and two years with ASAP.

Question from a Prospective Parent

2007-01-03T08:24:00.000-08:00

I have a question about foster/adoption and not sure if you can help or not.

My husband and I have been considering adopting from foster care. We have 4 children currently, 12,10,4 and 1 year old. (The older two are from our previous marriages)

My husband is hesitant about the cost and time more children would require. We would consider a boy or sibling group of two between the ages of 5-10 and race isn't an issue. The problem is we have heard a lot of negative stories about the children having severe problems and even the SW I spoke to again yesterday thinks we may want to wait until our younger two are a little older. I have a teaching degree in special ed. and am currently a stay at home mom so I feel the time now is right while I am at home. It is something I feel that we were meant to do and the path God has for us. The problem is I am not sure if it is realistic. I am aware that the children will have special needs from what they have been through. There are so many kids in need of loving homes, yet it seems that people are so negative about it, including the SW. Are there positive stories out there? Are there people willing to really help instead of trying to scare us away. I feel like it is the thing to do yet can't find much support. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks, Barb in Iowa

Why Doesn't White Adopt Black?

2007-01-02T08:15:00.001-08:00

Check out this article.

Why Doesn't White Adopt Black?.

Do you agree with the conclusions of this author?

Agency with Program in Mexico

2006-12-05T18:54:00.000-08:00

A think tank Visitor wrote:

I am seeking a reputable adoption agency that has an excellent Mexico adoption program with an excellent track record.

Fact Sheets

2006-11-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

The Minnesota Adoption Supoprt and Preservation Program has an excellent collection of Fact Sheets that can be found on this website. Great resource.

Can One Agency Do it All?

2006-11-30T06:16:00.000-08:00

Is it possible for one agency to do all three kinds of adoption (international, domestic infant, and special needs) and serve all their families well?

If so, what do they need to do in order to make sure that families in all programs are getting their needs met?

Since agencies who do all three often have one that they excel in, would it be better if agencies were restricted to only do the program that they did best?

Technical Enotes

2006-11-21T15:42:00.000-08:00

Check out the November 2006 Enotes. If you have comments or want to discuss them, you can do so here.

National Adoption Awareness Month

2006-11-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

Share ideas of ways to promote adoption during the month of November (or any other time). Or post a story that others could use in sharing the adoption message.

More Book Recommendations

2006-11-08T06:43:00.000-08:00

Adopt Us Kids and the National Adoption Center have developed a website of recommended reading for adoptive parents.

I have added the link to the Think Tank Book Recommendations Page.

If anyone sees a book that they think is missing from these lists, let's hear about it.

Holidays

2006-11-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

Holidays often are difficult times for children who have been adopted. How do you help them deal with the difficult emotions that often arise at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other times that families traditionally gather?

Question for Parents: While You Wait

2006-11-02T06:30:00.000-08:00

What are some ideas of ways that expectant parents can spend their time while they in the waiting stage of adoption (waiting for homestudy to get done, waiting for a referral or a match, waiting for visits to start, waiting for placement)?

ASFA

2006-10-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

The internet has dozens of websites that are set up to "fight CPS." While inflammatory and obviously biased, they insinuate (or flat out declare) that the Adoption Safe Families Act has provided a financial incentive for social workers to "kidnap" children from their families in order to receive adoption bonuses.

While none of us believe these claims, I think it is important for us to take an honest look at ASFA and how it has helped or hindered the adoption process and what positive and negative repercussions have resulted in the passing of this legislation.

How has ASFA helped or hindered children in care? How has it helped our hindered our adoption practice? How has it affected adoptive families?

Homestudy Quality Question

2006-10-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

How can we improve the quality of the adoption home studies we do and what would you like to see a home study address? What do you think is missing in the “assessment” piece?

What do I say to My Children?

2006-10-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

What are some good ways to talk about abusive or neglectful birthparents with a child adopted through foster care?

Selina Higgins Joins Professional Panel

2006-09-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

Selina Higgins is the Director of Family Engagement Programs and Initiatives for the child protective services division of NYC’s public child welfare agency, the Administration for Children’s Services. Ms. Higgins has worked in the field of child and family welfare for 13 years.

She currently administrates three large scale programs focusing on (1) case conferencing (Family Team Conferences), (2) the assessment of children entering foster care (Child Evaluation Specialist Program) and (3) Persons in Need of Supervision (PINS) diversion (Family Assessment Program). Ms. Higgins also coordinates the Babies Can’t Wait Project, which focuses upon the attachment and permanency needs of infants entering foster care, and upon the supportive needs of all infants, at home or in care. The goal of Babies Can’t Wait is (1) to ensure the safety, development, well-being, and permanency of infants by minimizing the trauma experienced by infants due to foster care placements; (2) to help expedite permanency; (3) to provide support to parents and to their infants in foster care; and (4) to provide information on early childhood development to agency staff, parents, foster parents and community supports. In addition, she chairs “The Babies Can't Wait Advisory Committee”, a multi-agency, interdisciplinary forum which focuses on providing support, training, and resources for parents, caregivers, community members and agency staff, and infusing child welfare policy and practice with a heightened awareness of infant mental and physical health, and developmental principles. Ms. Higgins also developed and administrates a citywide group work initiative that offers parenting groups, youth empowerment groups, and staff professional development groups. She has presented on permanency for infants at conferences in many states, and has published on a diversity of subjects, to include co-authoring a best practices chapter in a graduate social work text book.

Ms. Higgins has a Bachelor of Arts in Government, a Master of Arts in Forensic Psychology, a Master of Social Work, a post-graduate certificate in Social Work Administration, and is currently enrolled in a clinical post graduate program in Infant-Parent Psychotherapy and Trauma Identification and Treatment. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW-R).

Adoption Trainer Accreditation

2006-09-28T06:29:00.000-07:00

is there a process by which providers of adoption courses can get accredited by a body who accredits in the area of adoption training?

Are there situations where parents need to take adoption related classes from a member of any kind of accredited body?

Does this differ from state to state?

A dilemma in need of solutions

2006-09-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

There are many teens who cannot live safely in a family setting. They go in and out of residential placement and yet still need families even if they can never be home for more than a weekend here or there or holidays.

Recruiting families for these kids and asking them to finalize the adoption does not seem feasible because families would be unable to afford for the children to go back into residential if they "try it at home" and family members or the child him/herself is not safe. However, as adults these kids will still need a parent.

What are various states doing to address this issue? How can we recruit families who will provide permanency to kids who cannot live safely for long periods of time in a home setting?

Kary James

2006-09-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

Kary James is a Manager of Systems Improvement Methodology Casey Family Programs in their Washington, DC Office where she serves as a Manager for the Breakthrough Series Collaborative. Prior to her work at Casey, Ms. James worked for the Philadelphia Health Care Management Corporation as Coordinator for their Intensive Outpatient Treatment Program, Parenting Program and therapist. Additionally, she worked in the Child Social Work Unit within the Albert Einstein Health Care Network Crisis Response Center and as a social worker with the Portsmouth Department of Social Services Foster Care Unit in Portsmouth, Virginia. Ms. James holds an MSW degree from the Graduate School of Social Work at Norfolk State University, with a concentration in Clinical Social Work.

Susan Badeau

2006-09-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

Susan Badeau has been a child welfare professional for twenty-six years. Currently a policy consultant, from 2002 – 2005 Ms. Badeau served as the Deputy Director of the Pew Commission on Children in Foster Care. She has also worked in direct services at both the casework and supervisory levels in adoption and foster care in both public and private agencies. She has developed curricula on many topics used to prepare professional child welfare staff, adoptive and foster parents, judges, attorneys and youth. She also writes extensively on topics related to children, particularly those with special needs. A lifelong child advocate, she completed a one-year Kennedy Public Policy Fellow in the office of Senator John D (Jay) Rockefeller IV in Washington DC where she had the opportunity to work on policies that impact on the lives of children and families. Sue is also a frequent speaker at state, regional and national conferences.

Sue and her husband, Hector, are the lifetime parents of twenty-two children, two by birth and twenty adopted. They have also served as foster parents for more than 50 children in three states, and as a host family for refugee youth from Sudan, Kosovo and Guatemala. This summer, their 28th grandchild was born. They have won numerous awards for their work, including being recognized by President Clinton with an “Adoption Excellence” award for their work on behalf of adoption and children in foster care in 1997.

Read More.

Amount of Time from TPR to Placement

2006-09-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

What are at least three steps that could be taken or changes that need to be made in order to speed up the time it takes for a child to get from the termination of their parental rights to the placement in an adoptive home?

Question for Professionals: Birth Parent Contact

2006-09-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

We will most likely be able to adopt our foster children before the year is out. They are two and half and 7mos and have been with us for 7months. We have established a good relationship with the paternal grandparents and plan to keep them in our lives as grandparents. How much, if any, contact and / or sharing of information should we allow with the birth parents post adoption? Actually, we won’t allow any contact at all until or unless the birth parents are making better decisions, but what about sharing photos with them via the grandparents? Since it will not be set up by the court, we’re wondering what the pros and cons are of sharing this type of information. Obviously, we wouldn’t share photos that could help locate the children but what about just in general? We’ll need to set some “ground rules” with the paternal grandparents and we’re looking for help with that – any ideas? If it helps, the grandparents are very supportive of adoption for the kids and want what is best for them – they appear to be “normal”, healthy people.

Question for Professionals

2006-09-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

What should we as parents tell our children's teachers?

Deborah Hage's Thoughts on Sibling Separation

2006-09-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

When the siblings have a history of unresolved trauma between them it is best that they resolve that trauma in their own family without the trauma of being retraumatized by their close physical relationship to each other.

Read her article Sibling Placement and Attachment and tell us what you think.

Splitting Siblings

2006-09-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

Under what circumstances, if ever, should siblings be split?

What are the consequences for the children and adoptive families with either choice?

Brenda McCreight Shares about a New Program

2006-09-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

We all have children who do not fit in any kind of trades training and many of us despair of ever helping them get on the road ot empoyment. I have a 15 year old son with multiple diagnoses of fasd, adhd, etc, and he has recently given up on school because there is really nothing for him there. He has always wanted to be a stone mason (weird, but true) so I was looking for anyway to make that happen for him, but of course, not many places take 15 year olds and especially not those who are basically illiterate. However, I found a place! It is the Kootenay Stone Masonry Training School in Salmo BC, Canada . They provide two week courses in landscape stones, in building chimneys, in building retaining walls, and just about anything you can learn to do with stone. The cost is $1400 Canadian for each two week training and includes tuition and room and board. The instructor happens to have worked with mentally handicapped people and so has an understanding of learning differences. The owner is happy to take kids like my son as long as they are not drug or alcohol involved and can be independent for the two weeks as the owners do not provide supervision or parenting. Salmo is a very little town i(population 1000) in the mountains of BC, there is great fishing and hiking in the summer and skiiing in the winter, but not much else. The place is called the Kootenay Stone Masonry Training School and the web site is http://www.naturalstone.com/training.php For youth and young adults who want to learn a trade but can't manage traditional educational routes, this is a great place.

Adoption Photolisting Question and One Answer

2006-09-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

A commenter asked Bill, who works as a key player in a state photolisting, to respond to the effectiveness of photolistings.

Here is his response:

Photo listings are the primary method we have to reach potential adoptive families outside our local area. They have been the number one source of families for children placed out-of-state and we often receive numerous inquiries and studies from families within hours of the time a new listing appears.

However, the quality of the photo is the key. Good photos showing happy children attract families to read the descriptive material. A bad photo may cause families to bypass the listing entirely. We've had cases where a child with a poor photo received no response yet when a new quality photo was substituted, inquiries suddenly came in.

But while photos may attract families to read the narrative portion of the photolisting, people still need to read between the lines and ask questions as many of these children have issues that are often not included in the web listings due to confidentiality or personal privacy concerns. Nobody writing listings wants to put any information on line that could embarrass or humiliate a child with his or her peers so emotional and behavioral issues often go unaddressed except in the special needs severity. If a child has severe or moderate issues, families need to learn up front what the reasons for that listing may be. By addressing the issues through e-mail or phone discussion, families and agency workers can decide if the family is a potential match and avoid missing a good possibility because someone is scared away by a term or situation they might misunderstand without discussion. Often, children may carry a diagnosis, but have made great progress in recent months and be ready for adoption by the right parent(s).

As to who is listed, our region lists all children that do not have potential adoptive matches locally, or with families who have already submitted home studies for other youngsters and seem appropriate for new arrivals to the adoptive program. This means the listings will usually be older children, sibling groups and children with medical, emotional or behavioral problems. Most young children have many waiting possibilities locally and usually enter adoption through the foster to adopt route. As to the currency of listings, they vary greatly with some photolistings updating infrequently and others updating daily. Any interested family should start the process by finding out if children of interest are still available. That can usually be done by e-mail to the posting website contact.

The bottom line for our photolistings is that they are very effective. Hundreds of children in loving families today were originally spotted on the Internet.

A question then, for parents and professionals:

Are adoption photolistings effective? How can they be more effective? Do you agree with Bill?

Deborah Hage Response to Question about Attachment Therapies

2006-09-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

Almost every parenting intervention advocated by therapists works minimally for some parents, some children, some of the time. The problem is when a parent believes that a suggested parenting interaction works with them and their children all of the time. Parents and therapist need a vast array of tools from which to choose. Beyond Consequences is a tool. There are more parenting tools on my website. My suggestions will also work with some parents, some children, some of the time.

Another problem occurs when parents take general parenting guidelines written by therapists to guide most parents most of the time. Therapists have found that, in general, their suggestions and guidelines work. However, each family is different and so when these general guidelines do not fit the style of the parents or the needs of the child and family then the family must become engaged with a specific therapist who can then brainstorm with the family to come up with specific parenting interactions that will work with this specific child and specific family in this specific situation.

No book or article in the world is a substitute for that therapeutic relationship. So the third problem arises when parents turn to a therapist and puts themselves in the therapist’s hands with no results to show from it. The general rule of thumb is that if a family does not make any movement towards health after three months of therapy with a particular therapist then the parents need to seek elsewhere. I am not saying the child and family need to be “healed”, as sometimes years must be allowed for that. However, there must be some discernible movement in the direction of health. The parents and family must in some way be at least slightly happier…….happy enough for them to keep on the same track with the same therapist. When there is no movement towards happiness then parents must begin searching for another therapist. Unfortunately once a family exhausts their local resources they end up going farther and farther away from home at greater and greater expense. My work in Phoenix attracts people from all over the world who have not been able to find the help they need in their own communities. The double whammy is that by the time the child and family have exhausted local resources and made the commitment to go so far for help the child and relationship pattern in the family has deteriorated even further making healing even more difficult and expensive and time consuming.

A long answer to a short question, “How do parents balance nurturing and accountability?” There are some answers on my website. There would be extensively more answers from me if I entered into a therapeutic relationship with the family as an answer must be found that works for everyone involved….the parents, the child and the other siblings. Deborah@deborahhage.com

Good luck to the family, DEB

Question for Parents and Professionals about Attachment

2006-09-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

A question from a parent:

As a fairly new adoptive parent (and parent of several birth children), I have been reading some information about parenting children with Reactive Attachment Disorder. The "love-based approaches" seem to make sense to me, but not consequencing a kiddo for naughty, anger provoking behavior is proving a tough change for me... I feel like I am reinforcing bad behavior.

How does an adoptive parent find a balance between focusing on attachment/loving the child and holding them accountable for their actions?

Has anyone had experience with the therapists at http://www.beyondconsequences.com/ or read their book?

Gene Tweraser Joins Professional Panel

2006-09-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

Gene worked for 19 years as an adoption specialist for the state of Arkansas, and is still in contact with many of the families, including the now adult "children", with whom she worked. Her expertise would be in the area of family relationships, developmental issues, and most particularly now, family connections between adopted persons, birth parents and adoptive families, as well as lifebooks. These are the areas in which she has most recently done videos, workshops and articles. She reports, "I don't have a website, and I'm certainly not a nationally-known expert, but I have presented many times at NACAC and have a lot of practical experience.

Past President of Adopt America Network responds to Barriers Question

2006-09-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

Bill, former president of the Adopt America Network responds:

1. There's not enough visibility to the problem and its implications
2. There's not enough families
3. There's not enough workers (This is really two problems: (1) Workers are overloaded (2) High turnover leads to inexperience
4. Public and private funding (especially corporate) at all levels

Adoptive Parent of 17 Answers "Barriers to Adoption" question

2006-09-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

I just realized that you cannot edit comments, leading me to go with this approach to posting responses from people who email me privately.

Kelly, Adoptive Mom of 17, lists these top three barriers to adoption from foster care:

1. ICPC laws that drag the process out for months and months and months.
I have heard too many stories of parents or older prospective adoptive
children dropping out of the process because of lengthy delays.

2. Scary reports by professionals who give increasing numbers of labels
to children in foster care. While it is always helpful to know the
challenges that your potential child might face, it is not helpful to have
so many diagnoses and labels and that task appears impossible - unless, of
course, it is. Prospective parents need to be educated on the realities
of the diagnoses and labels - including the most effective methods for
coping with them in a family setting, appropriate therapeutic options and
lists of contact information to make it all happen.

3. An uneducated public that doesn't understand how adoption works.
Adoption is permanent. We are not the "step parents" or "foster parents."
We are the real parents who are working hard to raise our children the
best way we know how. And, no matter what their challenges, we love our
children and want them to be happy and successful in life.

Deborah Hage's Response to Barriers to Foster Care Adoption

2006-09-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

Deborah Hage responds:

1. Lack of adequate post adoption services! Including grossly inadequate adoption subsidies, poor therapy, poor parent training, inexperienced caseworkers who don’t believe the parents when they describe bizarre behaviors.

2.Poor termination of parental rights policies implemented by judges and lawmakers and workers who invest so much time and energy in the maintenance of the child in the birth home that by the time parental rights are terminated the child is so emotionally and behaviorally disturbed “normal” parents in “normal” families can no longer manage them. Liz Randolph cites a statistic in one of her books that only 15% of the children in a particular study were ever successfully for the long term reunited with their birth parents once the child had been removed from the home. Yet it appears 90% of services are provided to reuniting the child with the mother, giving the mother services, training the mother, etc. Every day that passes before the child is permanently placed marks the passage of another part of the child’s ego dying.

3. Parents are under the misguided belief that children in foreign orphanages are healthier emotionally then those coming through the foster care system. Unfortunately, while it is not always true, it is true often enough that families buy into the belief. Parents also believe that children in foreign orphanages are more permanently separated from their birth parents. There is an underlying, media driven, fear that birth parents are always out there lurking in the bushes to get their child back and the justice system will force the child back into the arms of the birth parents.

Feedback Requested

2006-09-07T11:37:00.001-07:00

I keep going back and forth as to how to most effectively monitor this blog.

Do you like each answer in posts or prefer it in the comment section? Comments or emails to the coordinator would be appreciated.

Barriers to Foster Care Adoption

2006-09-07T11:37:00.000-07:00

Bill, who works for a state photolisting organization, writes:

1. Foster parents that don't want to help children into adoption, usually for selfish and frequently monetary reasons. They create artificial barriers or provide negative and sometimes false information to prospective families scaring them off.

2. Interstate issues associated with the Interstate Compact which often delay adoptions for months and sometimes even get families to withdraw due to delays.

3. States that promote adoption, but do not provide dedicated adoptive staff or adequate staff and funding to complete adoptive matches and placements in a timely manner, causing many children to linger in care and families to turn their attention elsewhere.

Sarah, a State Licensing Supervisor, Joins Us

2006-09-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

(Due to public employment, some people are choosing not to reveal the state in which they work nor their last name).

Sarah has a Master's degree in Social Work with over 30 years experience in the child welfare field. She is currently employed as a Supervisor in a state department of child and family services, overseeing the licensing and monitoring of adoption and foster care child placing agencies. She is also the adoptive parent of a 20 year old daughter.

Faye Hall Joins Think Tank

2006-09-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

Faith works with Jeff Merkert. Their company is Connection Resources, LLC. They use their manual to train parents and professionals in the impact of early trauma on a child's development, resulting behaviors, and healing interventions. She is also an adoptive mom and she and Jeff are both family based therapists. Additionally, she see clients in an outpatient office and facilitates support groups.

Sarah Gerstenzang joins the Think Tank

2006-09-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

Sarah Gerstenzang works for the Adoption Exchange Association as an Assistant Director of our largest project. Previously, she was a Senior Policy Analyst at Children’s Rights. But maybe most importantly, she and her husband were foster parents in New York City and the youngest of their three children was adopted through the foster care system. She has a book coming out this winter with Vanderbilt University Press entitled, Another Mother: Co-Parenting with the Foster Care System

What are the three biggest barriers to increasing the number of adoptions of children in the foster care system?

2006-09-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

Parents? Professionals?

What are your thoughts.

Question from a Parent to Parents

2006-09-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

Do you do daily behavior charts for the kids? If you do would you be willing to share what kind of stuff you put on them? I am looking to set up some kind of chart system for my little ones.

Adoption Exchange Association Executive Director Comes on Board

2006-09-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

Barbara Holtan, the Executive Director of the AEA, has agreed to serve on our panels. She states, “I consider my most important credential to be the fact that my husband and I are adoptive parents - 5 kids, 3 by adoption (2 came to us as older kids ages 7 and 8) and 2 by birth. They are all grown now and out on their own.”

Welcome, Barbara!

Author and Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute Joins Us

2006-09-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Adam Pertman is the Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a national nonprofit that is the pre-eminent research, policy and education organization in its field. Pertman is also the author of the groundbreaking Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming America, which has been reviewed as “the most important book ever written on the subject.” In addition, he is the author of many chapters and articles on adoption- and family-related issues in books, scholarly journals and mass-market publications.

Pertman was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for his writing about adoption in The Boston Globe. His other honors include the 2005 Lifetime Achievement Award from the Florida Adoption Council, the Angel in Adoption award from the U.S. Congress’ adoption caucus; the Special Friend of Children Award from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry; the Dave Thomas Center for Adoption Law’s first award for “the nation’s greatest contributor to public understanding about adoption and permanency placement issues;” the Friend of Children Award from the ODS Adoption Community of New England; the Century Foundation’s prestigious Leonard Silk Journalism Award; the President’s Award from the African American Cultural Council of Virginia; the Year 2000 Journalism Award from Holt International Children’s Services; and the American Adoption Congress’ first award for the journalist who most informed the nation on adoption issues and “for his eloquent witnessing of contemporary adoption.”

Pertman’s commentaries on families and children have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, Boston Globe, Baltimore Sun, Miami Herald and on National Public Radio, among others. Articles about him and his book have appeared in numerous newspapers and magazines nationwide, including People. He has been a guest on many radio and television programs, including “Oprah,” the “Today” show and “Nightline.” As a leading expert on adoption and family issues, Pertman is widely quoted in electronic and print media outlets. He has delivered scores of keynote speeches and other presentations in this country and internationally for organizations including the Child Welfare League of America, the American Adoption Congress, the National Academy of Sciences, the Annie E. Casey Foundation, the Joint Council on International Children’s Services, and the National Association of Child Advocates.

Before embarking on his current career, Pertman, 53, was a senior journalist with The Boston Globe for more than two decades. His jobs included foreign editor, Washington news editor, West Coast bureau chief, diplomatic correspondent, national political correspondent, family and children’s issues reporter, and restaurant reviewer. His assignments included the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Philippine revolution, the Gulf War, the Middle East peace process, the O.J. Simpson trials, and several presidential elections. Pertman is a member of the Council on Contemporary Families, the editorial advisory board of Adoptive Families magazine, and the National Adoption Advisory Committee of the Child Welfare League of America. The Adoption Institute’s award-winning website is www.adoptioninstitute.org, and the site for his book is www.adoptionnation.com. He and his wife, Judy Baumwoll, live in Massachusetts with their two children (both adopted): Zachary, 12, and Emilia, 9.

Deborah Hage Agrees to Join the Adoption Think Tank

2006-09-06T05:55:00.000-07:00

I heard Deborah Hage speak for the first times several years ago and it was a turning point for me as an adoptive parent. I came home that year and immediately read every word of her website and purchased her books. Her approach to attachment has made a big difference in our lives.

She has agreed to join the Adoption Think Tank and to respond when she can. She is a lecturer, humanitarian, and author. Her website has answers to many questions that folks ask her about raising adopted children as well as family Christmas letters from 1985 to the present. In the past I have read through them all, and found her long range history and perspective to be very helpful.

You can purchase her books here and a couple are listed with Amazon.

Welcome, Deborah!

Another Question from a Parent

2006-09-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

Lori writes:

My question is about my 4 yod with FASD. How can I get her to stay asleep at night and not cause mischief at 3 a.m? I tried a door alarm - but she slams the door so hard that it falls down. I bought a laser beam alarm, but haven't been able to install it because our old farm house doesn't have many electrical outlets. I really need her to stay in her bed because she is currently sharing a room with her little brother and he isn't fully able to defend himself yet.... and she really needs the sleep too (o.k. its me- I, I need the sleep). Anybody have any suggestions?

While we are at it - does anyone know how to keep a kid buckled in a car seat? (My mother was killed in a car crash and I am a fanatic about staying buckled)

Helpful Websites

2006-09-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Gina, an adoption worker in TX writes:

Websites for medications and diagnosis. I also belong to a group for people with ADHD, and some of the people have multiple diagnosis like the kids. The people talk about what medications work and don't work for them and why. I found out about another medication that is being used on bipolar people that I haven't seen used on any of my kids, and I also had my concerns about Wellbutrin confirmed.

Since my ADD has gotten worse in my 40s, I will read articles, but not books. I bank off of years of experience, but I also ask a lot of questions and take the time to listen to my kids, foster parents, and therapists. I will say that from the group I belong to that there are books out on ADD that are suppose to be good. One that is getting good reviews from the group is:

More Responses to the "ONE characteristic" question

2006-08-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Chris, a Program Director in Adoptions in Texas, also believes that patience is the one characteristics that parents adopting from foster care must possess.

Laura says it is patience and flexibility.

Brenda McCreight joins Panel

2006-08-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

In writing this, I hope that those of you who are professionals won’t be offended that I wasn’t quite as excited about you joining the panel as I am about having Brenda join us. I think it is because she has written a book (three of them) that have actually been published and does speaking and consulting INTERNATIONALLY that I’m excited about her willingness to participate on our panel.

You can find her website here. And below you will see links to the books she has written. Welcome, Brenda!

This book is not available through Amazon, but you can see the link for it Eden’s Secret Journal: The Story of An Older Child Adoption.

First Question from the Think Tank (not originated by yours truly)

2006-08-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

Lori writes to find out about Reactive Attachment Disorder. I am wondering what the characteristics of it would be and how R.A.D. would have been developed in a child?

Please answer on the comments section if possible (I’m finding this is cutting and pasting is taking a LOT more time than I thought it would).

Characteristic Needed by Adoptive Families

2006-08-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

A Texas social worker, Robyn, who matches children with families on an ongoing basis says, "The ONE characteristic they need to possess is to be open minded and not expect our children to be THAT perfect child. They all come with some sort of baggage, even the young ones, and they need to realize that you can not always fix these children with just love. They might need more and parents need to be parents and stand by them through everything they go through."

Two adoptive parents of lots of kids and adoption specialists for Adopt America Terri and Phyllis, agree that patience is paramount. Terri says "My personal opinion on this one is that You should possess it would be Patience. Not only with the child but with the system itself as well. And the knowledge that you may need to be Very Very Patient with both." Phyllis adds that if she could choose two, the second would be a sense of humor. Christa, an adoption worker in Florida agrees with patience and adds the adjective tolerance. Bill, a recruiter in Texas and Jennifer and Kim, adoption workers from two other regions in Texas, also agree that patience is the key.

Gina, an adoption worker in Texas, says, "To go into the adoption in check with reality. There are adoptive families that believe that all they need to do is love the kid and they will be just fine. That is usually not the case because some of our kids have years of damage, and in some cases the child will never be what society considers as normal."

Paula writes ”Commitment, stubbornness, refusal to give up , whatever you want to call it……..without it they will never make it.“ Amanda calls this tenacity --tenacity to pursue a placement, tenacity to stick a placement out. QueenBee calls it commitment, as does Melody, an adoption worker from Texas.

Martha, another adoption worker from Texas, says that they must love being in the company of children. Alissa, a recruiter in Florida, believes that flexibility is the key.

Kari says an adoptive parents needs to "open to learning the parenting skills that are needed for kids with abuse / neglect / prenatal exposure issues."

Mary thinks the word resliency covers it all -- Resiliency. That covers it all -- the need for patience, the critical issues regarding a child/ren, the process of working with the foster care system and ICPC, and the attitudes most parents get at some point from their child/ren. It lets a parent keep on loving and caring even when it's hard to do."

Question #3

2006-08-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

What is the ONE characteristic that you think is essential for a parent adopting from the foster care system to possess?

Adoption Recruiter in Florida Shares Links

2006-08-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Alissa, an adoption recruiter in Florida, shares that regional heart gallery websites have been helpful to her. Here is one example of a heart gallery site.

She also says that she frequently refers to the North American Council on Adoptable Children website as well as the Adopt America Network site in her work.

Fost-Adopt Parent Shares Link

2006-08-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

QueenBee states:

I learn a lot from reading Tamara's blog. They were/are walking the same road as us and I learned a great deal reading about placements that did not turn into adoptions. I think it helped prepare my heart for “just in case”.

Adoptive Parent Shares Links and Books

2006-08-28T06:19:00.000-07:00

Mary writes:

There are quite a few websites that have helped me. Claudia's ,Cindy's, Audrey's, Kari's -- they've all provided me with different insights. There are also newsgroups, like FASlink and the Attachment Disorder Support Group, that have also helped me over the past few years.

As far as books go,

and

have been very educational.

Also, Dave Pelzer's books on his life,

have given me a harrowing and realistic understanding of what may happen to children within the foster care system.

Adoptive Parent of 17 shares her Links

2006-08-28T05:45:00.000-07:00

Amanda states:

I don't think when I started adopting that I was as internet savvy. Nowadays, I look at blogs. These are the people in the trenches. These are my experts. I look at Cindy's Blog, Claudia's Blog and the the FASD blog. Those are my favorites. A couple of other FASD links are The National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and this FAS site sponsored by the FAS Community Resource Center.

A Couple Texas CPS workers share links

2006-08-28T05:41:00.000-07:00

Brenda, an Adoption Supervisor in Texas, states that The Foundation for Large Families website has helped her to understand large families and has been a good resource for her.

Robyn, an adoption worker in Texas, points to the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange as a site that helps her find homes for harder to place children.

Another Book and a Link to Many Book Reviews

2006-08-28T05:20:00.000-07:00

Laura Christianson recommends this book. In addition, her website has links to many resources which include thorough book reviews on a variety of adoption books. You can read more about her blogs on this post from Adoption Blog Central

.

Question #2

2006-08-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

In addition to making a link of all recommended books, I’d also like to create a page of links. For this reason, I am asking the second question of both parents and professionals.

What website has helped you the most either as a parent or a professional? You can list more than one if you wish and if you’d like, tell why it is significant. Respond by emailing the coordinator or by commenting on the blog.

Coordinator Update

2006-08-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

Just so you know, it’s my plan, once everyone has had a chance to share their most helpful book/books, to create a separate page with links to all the books in one place. So if you haven’t answered that question yet, please do so.

We now have 22 professionals and 9 parents on our panels and it is growing every hour. If you know people you would like to invite or have me invite please let them or me know.

And tell everyone you know about this website. The more brains are included in the think tank, the farther ahead we’ll be.

An Interesting Read

2006-08-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

Susan, a CPS Adoption/Foster Care worker in Texas, says that while this book may not be the one that has helped her the most. Turning Stones: My Days and Nights with Children at Risk: A Caseworker's Story by Marc Parent and Anna Quindlen (foreword). She says that it is an interesting read that can show people on the fostering/adopting side things from another viewpoint.

She also mentions the Claudia Jewett book mentioned here.

Three More Books

2006-08-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

Alissa, an adoption recruiter in Florida, lists that these three Dave Pelzer books have been helpful to her.

Overachieving Amanda :-)

2006-08-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

Amanda, adoptive parent of 17, and Adoption Specialist for the Adopt America Network gave me quite a list that I am compiling into this format. I don't know why there is a big space here. It's annoying, I know. Driving me crazy, in fact, but it has already taken way too much time. I'll have to mess with it again sometime. It has something to do with HTML tagging.

Books with Reviews

2006-08-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

QueenBee, fost-adopt parent and author of this blog states that the following book was helpful to her.

She states "I vaguely remember reading it at some point and getting a lot from it, helping me understand the child’s perspective. It talks a lot about “primal wounds” which I’m not a big fan of, but it was very insightful. It helped me a great deal in being more open to the birthfamily and in getting to know the birthparents as much as I could so I could later share information with the kids. I think the points mentioned in the book are especially important for kids from foster care. It seems so many parents who adopt kids from foster care might be tempted to expect the kids to be “grateful” because their new parents “saved” them or some nonsense like that.

She also points to the book

and wonders if it is too cheesy to say that she gets a lot of parenting advice from this book:

I told her it wasn't.

Helpful Books

2006-08-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Martha, a CPS adoption worker in Texas, reports that these books have been most helpful to her.

Michele, another Texas CPS worker, though she has not parented, has learned from this book:

Kris, an adoptive parent and Adoption Specialist for the Adopt America Network lists this book as being most significant for her:

Kari, adoptive parent and author if this blog shares that this book is the most significant she has read.

Jennifer, another Texas Adoption Worker, sites this book:

First Question to Ponder

2006-08-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Since I don’t have my panels quite set up yet, I thought I’d throw out the first question. If you answer it via comment or emailing me, you can also indicate whether or not you’d like to be on the parent or professional panel (or both).

Question #1:

What is the book that has helped you the most in your journey as a parent (foster, birth or adopted) or as a professional?

Logistics

2006-08-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

So, how will this site work, you wonder?

Well, right now I am building two panels, one of professionals and one of parents who will be on an email list. When a question is posted, it will go to them by email, and then I will post their answers. They can be completely anonymous ("an adoptive parent in California comments that") or completely non-anonymous (if that's a word) where your name and blog address or agency website can be posted.

"Experts" in the field can benefit by having their answer linked with their website or agency website to bring people to them. Parents who have blogs can grow their readership.

But the main goal is for everyone to put our heads together to discuss issues and come up with potential solutions.

So far, one day into the premiere, I have one parent on my parent panel, and one professional on my professional panel. We have a long ways to go, but I have big dreams for the site.

Welcome to the Adoption Think Tank

2006-08-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

The mission of the Adoption Think Tank is to improve our parenting and practice in order to make healthy permanency possible both for children in foster care AND their foster and adoptive families.

It is my goal to connect therapists, child protection workers, foster and adoptive parents, homestudy workers, speakers, specialists, etc. to discuss pertinent ideas and issues. I would love to see all of the people I have met in this field from every arena getting together and connecting to discuss issues on how we can make things better for kids -- by changing the way we parent, by changing the system a little better, by changing the way we practice social work, etc.

If you're willing to serve on a panel of either professionals or parents, please let me know.