Sunday, July 08, 2007

Question from A Parent

I have 2 adopted children - a daughter of 3.5 years and a son of 2.2 years. Both were adopted at birth and we have openly spoken about adoption since they were born.
I would like to write up their adoption story and share it with friends and families once it has been told to my children. I was just wondering if anyone has done this and has some good ideas to share about how to do it and what to say at this stage in their lives since they are obviously still quite young.
I look forward to hearing from you.


Blogger Think Tank Moderator said...

Judy from the Cradle says:

Young children love a "all-about-me" scrap book with 1) the delight parents took in the first time you met the child and that 2) you get to keep them forever, as part of the "text". When a child starts wondering where they were before you met them or starts noticing pregnant women and can comment on a baby ""growing in her tummy" (or whatever phrase you and they use) then it is time to add birthmother to the front of their book. Developmentally, children are usually age four or five, but every child is different. If you have an open adoption, you can begin identifying the woman you play with occasionally as the lady whose tummy your child grew in. If not, add a picture you have, or draw one using your child's own features for guidance. A child's questions and feelings can go onto that page. Yours also, but keep yours brief. Allow a child to be curious or angry or sad, as well as happy to know about her. Birthfathers come into a child's awareness, if they are available in an open adoption, or around age seven or eight when kids understand how Dads figure into procreation. Until then, focus on birth mom.
Suggestions: Useful is a book to which you can add pages as the child's understanding of adoption develops. offers a lifebook program with pages that can be downloaded and stories from other families about how they have used stories as their children matured.
Have fun telling stories!

Judith A. Stigger, LCSW
Director of International Adoption
The Cradle

12:42 PM  

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