A Question for Parents

I have an adopted daughter who will be 12 soon. She is taller than me and out weighs me at this point. She can be very aggressive and this morning when I would do what she asked me to do for her, she shoved me and left the house, later to return and hide. My question is, what type of discipline would you use to deter aggressive behavior. Her bio father is a violent man, bio sibs tend to be aggressive, one is my son, 2 other we have contact with but she never lived with. I left this situation with a, your grounded until I am calm enough to make a decision on your discipline, so any suggestions. This is not the first time she has slapped me but I have recently had some health issues and I con not let her continue to be aggressive, I have younger children in the home and will not have one of my children set the example that it is OK to hit Mom.